They say When it rains, it pours. Now I’m not sure who ‘they’ are, but I’m quite certain that ‘they’ came up with this line to foreshadow these last two weeks in my life. To put it best, and figuratively, it just hasn’t stopped raining. For the last fourteen days, life has thrown everything imaginable at me- and more.
Ironically, it all began on a rainy night… which included a rooftop kiss that I’ll probably never forget. And that same kiss is one that probably never should have happened…but it did.
I wasn’t going to tell anyone about that kiss. It was my plan to keep it between the two strangers that shared it. No one needed to know about it. Neither one of us even needed to remember it. We were drunk. We saw something in one another. We got caught up in the moment. We let the other feel something (again). It was only going to be the one night. We were never supposed to see one another again. We weren’t, but we did.
Last night I walked home from dinner as the raindrops fell amongst the street lights. Ignoring the umbrella in my purse, I recognized that part of me just wanted to feel the raindrops on my skin and the other part just wanted to feel something. Each pitter-patter embraced a memory from the last two weeks. Whether the first meeting outside of the bar, the romantic rooftop kiss in the rain, the texts and calls that followed, or our reunion two days prior, I found myself holding onto pieces that should have been forgotten and/or nonexistent in the first place. And more so, I questioned why I haven’t fully been able to walk away.
I’ve been struggling to make sense of everything these last two weeks. I’ve tried recalling the events of that Saturday night and how I let things happen as they did. I’ve kept my guard up instead of getting caught up in the rush. And above all, I’ve forced myself to be honest- with him , with friends, and with myself. All I can ration is that in situations like this, people meet for a reason. Maybe he entered my life to teach me a necessary lesson, or perhaps I came into let him feel something he hasn’t felt in a while. Whatever the case may be, I just wish I knew because otherwise I cannot help but wonder if every rainy night is going to elicit memories of that romantic rooftop kiss…and all that has happened since.
Some people say that “it’s just a kiss”, and as you get older you’ll mostly hear “it’s only sex” and/or “marriage is just a piece of paper“. Do me a favor: Don’t believe these things. If ‘a kiss is just a kiss’, then why do you sometimes find yourself with weak knees and butterflies in your stomach? Explain that, cynics!
On our early morning car ride to Columbus last week, Stef and I found ourselves in a discussion that I’m going to refer to as, Some Girls Do and Some Girls Don’t. Simply put, we were discussing those girls that 1) always seem to have “met the love of my life” and 2) act so carelessly when it comes to boys, relationships, and everything in between. Those are the ones that act like a “kiss is just a kiss”…but what about the rest of us? What about the girls that actually care enough to embrace that first kiss and take pride in calling him “my boyfriend”?
And to be fair, because after all boys have feelings too (!), what about the boys that find themselves asking their girl friends for advice on their latest crush and taking weeks to finally ask the question, “Will you go out with me?” Those guys are out there, and in fact, I know some of them.
But this post is about one specific boy. A boy who has liked a girl for a very long time. A boy who has been very patient with this girl and pretty much accepted that the girl will never feel the same about him. But this same boy recently experienced something special with this 
girl. On New Year’s Eve, of all nights. Yep, they shared a kiss. After midnight. And from what I’ve been told, there was a little make out session that went on too. Whether or not a third-party (named Alcohol) truly placed a role in this event for a little ménage à trois is yet to be determined, but no matter, New Year’s Eve or not, this incident definitely deserves an explanation for the sake of two friends that shared their first kiss. Like I believe, a kiss isn’t ‘just a kiss”.
Once upon a time…in my early Post-College days, I let myself believe that a kiss was only a kiss. I was Heartbroken. Lonely. Confused. I didn’t know myself well enough to understand this too shall pass. I fell into the trap and soon, while I hate to admit it, I let myself mistakenly believe that I deserved to be in a “relationship” categorized as none other than, “Friends with Benefits“. And as the story goes… I fell victim to the misconception that ”it’s just sex“. But I learned my lesson. Many lessons. And yes, I do regret some of the decisions my sad heart allowed me to make, but I am also grateful to have learned these lessons before making them again.
And while I cannot say the same for my friends, I proudly admit that my lips were sealed on New Year’s Eve. Other than the guys I was with, I could not tell you what a single guy in the bar looked like. So, why would I kiss someone just to kiss someone? Whether it’s New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s Day, or any other ordinary day for that matter, why kiss for the sake of just kissing? Been there, done that. Quite frankly, the truth of the matters is, there’s nothing better than that first kiss with someone you truly like. Someone that gives you butterflies. Someone that makes your knees go weak when he says, “I really like you.” Someone who makes you feel like you’re the only ones there in a crowded room. Someone who you know is worth waiting for. Someone who deserves you, as much as you deserve him. I know it’s tough, but I promise you that it’s always worth the wait. Just Be Patient.
While I’m extremely bias, I end this post still hoping that the kiss my friends’ shared was more than ‘just a kiss’, but only time will tell.
They say When it rains, it pours. Now I’m not sure who ‘they’ are, but I’m quite certain that ‘they’ came up with this line to foreshadow these last two weeks in my life. To put it best, and figuratively, it just hasn’t stopped raining. For the last fourteen days, life has thrown everything imaginable at me- and more.
